I read this post and while everyone else was probably already thinking about slicker brushes and dryers and shampoos and scissors and puzzles and lick mats and all the other things that people believe a ten week old poodle puppy needs, me, I kept looking at the words “frantically trying” and thinking about something entirely different.

Where is the breeder?

I am NOT saying that this family should not be doing research or asking questions or trying to prepare because of course they should and I would much rather see someone asking questions than just bringing a puppy home and hoping they somehow figure it all out later. They thought they had until fall and then the person ahead of them passed and suddenly they were told that the puppy was available and now they are trying to get ready much faster than they expected.

But this puppy did not suddenly come into existence because someone else passed.

Someone planned this breeding and raised this litter and fed and groomed and watched these puppies for ten weeks and should know what they have experienced and what they have not experienced and what has been done with them and what still needs to be done.

Or at least someone should know.

The breeder should know what this puppy eats and how often he eats and what brush has already been used and whether he has ever heard or felt a dryer and whether clippers have been put on his face and feet and how he responds when he is tired or frustrated or overwhelmed. The breeder should know what this puppy needs now and what can wait and what this family needs to understand before they ever put him in the car and take him home.

So why is this family frantically asking hundreds of strangers?

Why did no one stop and say that being the next person on a list does not automatically mean being ready to bring home the puppy?

Why is the breeder not preparing the family instead of just moving the puppy down the list?

A waiting list is not a grocery line where one person decides they do not want the item and the next person gets handed it.

This is a living animal and a fifteen year commitment and a Standard Poodle puppy that is going to need grooming and training and social development and structure and rest and someone who understands that keeping a smart puppy busy every second of the day can create just as many problems as leaving it with nothing to do.

And yet everyone is going to answer the shopping question.

One person is going to say this is the only brush worth buying and someone else is going to say that brush destroyed the coat. One person is going to recommend endless puzzles and enrichment and someone else is going to say the puppy needs to learn how to be bored and settle. Someone will recommend one shampoo and another person will say it is toxic and someone who bought their first poodle last year will speak with the same confidence as someone who has lived with and groomed and raised them for thirty years.

How is a first-time owner supposed to know the difference?

They are not.

That is why the breeder is supposed to be there.

The breeder should not just say, good news, the person ahead of you passed and now the puppy is yours. The breeder should say, let us slow down and make sure you are ready. Here is what this puppy already knows. Here is what you need before pickup. Here is what can wait. Here is what I expect you to continue and here is where you call when something does not seem right.

The fact that this family admitted they were not finished researching should not simply move the sale forward faster.

It should have started a conversation.

Responsible breeding is not only about raising the puppy correctly for ten weeks and then handing it to the next available person. Responsible breeding also means knowing when a family is ready and when they need more time and whether this puppy and this timing and this home actually fit together.

We talk constantly about responsible puppy owners and yes, owners absolutely have responsibilities, but responsibility did not begin the day this family agreed to take the puppy.

Responsibility began with the person who chose to create the puppy, while this family is simply trying to ask the right questions and do the right thing.

It is that we have become so accustomed to breeders handing puppies over and disappearing that no one even seems to notice when a family is standing at the beginning of a fifteen year commitment feeling frantic and unprepared and looking to strangers for the information that should have already been given to them.

One more lick mat will not solve what is missing here. This family needs a breeder who prepares both the puppy and the people taking it home, including knowing when everyone needs to slow down.

So no, my first thought was not which brush they should buy.

Me, I was still asking:

Where is the breeder?